Government submits to God, who wants to leave us alone

God at his computer.

This story is, of course, fictional.  If you see this headline in the newspaper tomorrow morning, you will need to pinch yourself–and if that does not wake you–realize that you have in fact died and gone to heaven.  As I imagine it, there are no tax collectors in heaven.  Upon entry into heaven, I could pick up the Times and read the following:

Today God announced major cutbacks in everything government. 

God called for an immediate end to all hostilities in Iraq, and condemned George W. Bush for lying to His people and killing His children without just cause.  “You’ll burn in hell for this,” God ordained matter-of-factly, in an unusually calm damning ceremony.  Taking questions after the announcement, God explained the departure from the usual thunderbolt display.  “Our traditional ceremony was a little over the top, and we’re trying to cut expenditures in these ceremonies anyway.  After the Falwell incident, I don’t really trust the lightning machine anymore–he wasn’t supposed to burn until he actually got to Hell.  I am not one to deprive Lucifer of his fun, but I am told he has still had plenty of it with Falwell.”  He then belted maniacal laughter for over three minutes.

God’s announcement expectedly drew some disfavor from President Bush, who backwardly believed he was doing God’s work.  “But God–” he started to say, but The All-Knowing knew what was coming and responded before Bush could finish.  “I do my own work, thank you,” God thundered.  “Love thy neighbor.  It’s simple, really.  Why couldn’t you just do it?  Jesus!”

The military will be mostly dissolved by mid-year, much to the dismay of the military industry.  Sources tell us that one CEO was particularly opposed to God’s will.  God quieted his argument, saying, “I never intended for you people to go around killing one another because of your petty arguments about me.  I’m going to let you keep fire and subsequent technological advancements.  Don’t push your luck with this fighting fetish you’ve developed.”

God called for the immediate dissolution of the CIA, FBI, the Department of Homeland Security, and all government secrecy.  He said His “reasoning here is simple: if people really want to be free, information must be free to them.  Besides, there is no reason for a good government to have secrets.  Good governments do not need protection, because people find no fault in them worth attacking.  If anything is going to be mysterious in this world, it’s going to be Me.”

No more personal taxes or tax identification numbers.  God seemed particularly frustrated by these human measures.  “I don’t know what nation is before me now, when I look at these income taxes,” God offered.  “Soviet Russia? Nazi Germany? Oceania?  Certainly not one nation, under Me, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.  There’s no liberty in assigning everyone a number and staking claim to their labor–it’s as if you’ve modeled your society after Hell.”

God ended drug laws as well, and allowed all non-violent drug offenders to leave prison.  He called for a cutback of over 85% of the nation’s local police forces.  “You’ve got a lot of nerve,” He reprimanded Congress.  “Do you think I put cannabis on this planet so that you could spend your days trying to destroy it?  It’s not going away.  I put it here for your enjoyment.  Don’t tell people what they are allowed to do with what I put here.  I ought to damn you all to Hell for this!  As I look around, you’re all headed there anyway–oh, except for you, Dr. Paul of Texas: the Lot of Washington D.C.  What’s that, Ron?  Alright, you can bring Duncan along too.  No, Kucinich burns with the rest of them!  Alright, you may rescue Barney Frank from damnation as well, as we cannot fault the mentally handicapped.”

In perhaps related news, the Federal Reserve Board has disappeared.  No one can find any of them anywhere.  God did not explain where they went, but did say they will not be back.  “Gold and silver will always back the currency, to protect My people’s savings from confiscation.  The market, which I created, will determine rates of interest.”

To cap off His day of governing, God smote Mike Huckabee.  “Huckabee is a false idol,” decreed God, “almost as bad as the pope.”  The Almighty went on to relate Huckabee to the ancient Golden Calf, and his followers to ancient pagans because of their lack of respect for what God called “civic virtue.”

Fear is Tyranny was able to catch up with God during an evening prayer session.  We asked Him if He was done with governing for awhile.  “Absolutely not,” He said, “this is just the first day.  I’ve got five more to go before I rest.  My motivation here is very basic and has never changed: I gave people the capacity to think so that they might use it to guide themselves, and I am simply taking steps to encourage individual thought.”  Pray for similar results tomorrow.

The “Blame-Iraq-First” Crowd

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Almost everyone agrees that Al-Qaeda was directly responsible for the attacks on September 11, 2001. However, in the months and years following that day, it became apparent that the situation was not limited to Al-Qaeda and Osama bin Laden. A tragedy of such large scale, the people reasoned, had to be the result of something bigger than a simple network of a few hundred Muslims who hated the United States.

A blame game of epic proportion ensued, and two arguments unfolded: one placed the blame on Islamic fundamentalism as the reason the United States was attacked; another placed the blame on political grievances that Middle Eastern people had against the United States. The former evolved into an American argument for war against Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, and probably others yet to come; the latter, a political persuasion to change U.S. foreign policy and demobilize troops around the world.

The talking heads of the former persuasion call the latter the “Blame America First” crowd, and by common logic, would refer to themselves as the “Blame Iraq First” crowd, because both sides actually blamed the Taliban and Al-Qaeda first, and their respective culprits second. Those leaders could correctly replace “First” with “Second” in their titles, but, perhaps for dramatic effect, or to avoid a proper debate, have chosen not to do so.  I will not follow in their path of contrived irrationality.  With respect to the responsibility of 9/11, I am a member of the “Blame-America-Second” coalition, and I strongly disagree with the “Blame Iraq Second” crowd, mainly because only two parties were involved in the incident: Al-Qaeda and America.  The God-given nature of human reason does not allow me to blame a party that was completely remote from the event. 

The “Blame Iraq Second” crowd shares the sentiment of the emotionally irrational, abusive father, who beats his child because of an argument with his colleague; the innocence is irrelevant to the emotional rage.  My intent, as a writer, is to reveal that the “Blame-America-Second” crowd is actually talking sense, and has for its focus, the interest of humankind.  The “Blame-Iraq-Second” argument cannot withstand the test of human reason, so to believe their argument, is to reject that which is in your God-given nature, and seems an abomination to the Almighty.  To favor those who wage war while in an emotional state, without just cause, while living in relative comfort, is opposite of divine, and I need not remind the faithful of what God’s antonym is.

What a true conservative looks like (and says)

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 Ron Paul is the true conservative no one (Rush, Levin, Hannity, hello?) seems to be able to find, and here are some quotes as evidence.  If you think you are a conservative, and these quotes don’t make perfect sense, you’ve been Neo-conned!  Turn off the liberal Fox News (of Trotskyist descent), and read something you trust (like the Constitution, or the Bible).  Notice the date of the quote in bold.  Did your haloed candidate predict the sub-prime mortgage crisis back in 2002?  Didn’t think so.  No one did–oh, except Ron Paul.  I have heard “everyone was wrong, with the exception of Ron Paul” enough times to know who to vote for.  Perhaps we should listen to the “kook” who keeps getting everything right.

“Force does not work. Persuasion does.” – Ron Paul, 05/25/07, Real Time with Bill Maher

“You don’t spread freedom with the barrel of a gun.”

“Cliches about supporting the troops are designed to distract from failed policies, policies promoted by powerful special interests that benefit from war, anything to steer the discussion away from the real reasons the war in Iraq will not end anytime soon.”

“Deficits mean future tax increases, pure and simple. Deficit spending should be viewed as a tax on future generations, and politicians who create deficits should be exposed as tax hikers.”

“Having federal officials, whether judges, bureaucrats, or congressmen, impose a new definition of marriage on the people is an act of social engineering profoundly hostile to liberty.”

“How did we win the election in the year 2000? We talked about a humble foreign policy: No nation-building; don’t police the world. That’s conservative, it’s Republican, it’s pro-American – it follows the founding fathers. And, besides, it follows the Constitution.”

“I believe that when we overdo our military aggressiveness, it actually weakens our national defense. I mean, we stood up to the Soviets. They had 40,000 nuclear weapons. Now we’re fretting day in and day and night about third-world countries that have no army, navy or air force.”

“I have never met anyone who did not support our troops. Sometimes, however, we hear accusations that someone or some group does not support the men and women serving in our Armed Forces. But this is pure demagoguery, and it is intellectually dishonest.”

“In time it will become clear to everyone that support for the policies of pre-emptive war and interventionist nation-building will have much greater significance than the removal of Saddam Hussein itself.”

“Justifying conscription to promote the cause of liberty is one of the most bizarre notions ever conceived by man! Forced servitude, with the risk of death and serious injury as a price to live free, makes no sense.”

“Legitimate use of violence can only be that which is required in self-defense.”

“Our country’s founders cherished liberty, not democracy.”

“The moral and constitutional obligations of our representatives in Washington are to protect our liberty, not coddle the world, precipitating no-win wars, while bringing bankruptcy and economic turmoil to our people.”

“The most important element of a free society, where individual rights are held in the highest esteem, is the rejection of the initiation of violence.”

“War is never economically beneficial except for those in position to profit from war expenditures.”

“When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads.”

“When the federal government spends more each year than it collects in tax revenues, it has three choices: It can raise taxes, print money, or borrow money. While these actions may benefit politicians, all three options are bad for average Americans.”

“You wanna get rid of drug crime in this country? Fine, let’s just get rid of all the drug laws.”

“Mr. Speaker, I once again find myself compelled to vote against the annual budget resolution for a very simple reason: it makes government bigger.” 3/25/04

“Under the United States Constitution, the federal government has no authority to hold states “accountable” for their education performance. In the free society envisioned by the founders, schools are held accountable to parents, not federal bureaucrats.” 5/23/01

“However, despite the long-term damage to the economy inflicted by the government’s interference in the housing market, the government’s policies of diverting capital to other uses creates a short-term boom in housing. Like all artificially-created bubbles, the boom in housing prices cannot last forever. When housing prices fall, homeowners will experience difficulty as their equity is wiped out. Furthermore, the holders of the mortgage debt will also have a loss. These losses will be greater than they would have otherwise been had government policy not actively encouraged over-investment in housing.” 7/16/02

“Failure of government programs prompts more determined efforts, while the loss of liberty is ignored or rationalized away. Whether it’s the war against poverty, drugs, terrorism, or the current Hitler of the day, an appeal to patriotism is used to convince the people that a little sacrifice of liberty, here and there, is a small price to pay. The results, though, are frightening and will soon become even more so.”

“Since it’s proven that centralized control over education and medicine has done nothing to improve them, and instead of reassessing these programs, more money is thrown into the same centralized planning, this is much closer to Emerson’s foolish consistency than defending liberty and private property in a consistent and forceful manner while strictly obeying the Constitution.” 2/11/04

“One thing is clear: The Founding Fathers never intended a nation where citizens pay nearly half of everything they earn to government.” 7/17/01

“However, monitoring the transactions of every American in order to catch those few who are involved in some sort of illegal activity turns one of the great bulwarks of our liberty, the presumption of innocence, on its head. The federal government has no right to treat all Americans as criminals by spying on their relationship with their doctors, employers, or bankers. In fact, criminal law enforcement is reserved to the state and local governments by the Constitution’s Tenth Amendment.” 5/22/01

“Perhaps the most onerous example of a proposal that creates the illusion of security (yet really promotes servitude) is the plan to force all Americans to carry a national ID card. A uniform national system of identification would allow the federal government to inappropriately monitor the movements and transactions of every citizen. History shows that when government gains the power to monitor the actions of the people, it inevitably uses that power in harmful ways.” 11/16/01

“One of the most disturbing abuses of the Social Security number is the congressionally-authorized rule forcing parents to get a Social Security number for their newborn children in order to claim them as dependents. Forcing parents to register their children with the state is more like something out of the nightmares of George Orwell than the dreams of a free republic which inspired this nation’s founders.” 10/7/03

“Let it not be said that no one cared, that no one objected once it’s realized that our liberties and wealth are in jeopardy. A few have, and others will continue to do so, but too many-both in and out of government-close their eyes to the issue of personal liberty and ignore the fact that endless borrowing to finance endless demands cannot be sustained. True prosperity can only come from a healthy economy and sound money. That can only be achieved in a free society.” 7/10/03

“If we can’t or won’t define the enemy, the cost to fight such a war will be endless. How many American troops are we prepared to lose? How much money are we prepared to spend? How many innocent civilians, in our nation and others, are we willing to see killed? How many American civilians will we jeopardize? How much of our civil liberties are we prepared to give up?” 9/25/01

“Absent Iraqi involvement in the attack on the United States, I can only wonder why so many in Congress seek to divert resources away from our efforts to bring those who did attack us to justice.” 12/19/01

“Finally, there is a compelling moral argument against war in Iraq. Military force is justified only in self-defense; naked aggression is the province of dictators and rogue states. This is the danger of a new “preemptive first strike” doctrine.” 9/4/02

“Racism is simply an ugly form of collectivism, the mindset that views humans strictly as members of groups rather than individuals. Racists believe that all individuals who share superficial physical characteristics are alike: as collectivists, racists think only in terms of groups…. The true antidote to racism is liberty. Liberty means having a limited, constitutional government devoted to the protection of individual rights rather than group claims… Rather than looking to government to correct our sins, we should understand that racism will endure until we stop thinking in terms of groups and begin thinking in terms of individual liberty.” (4/16/07)

“All the reasons given to justify a preemptive strike against Iraq were wrong. Congress and the American people were misled…. We shouldn’t wait until our financial system is completely ruined and we are forced to change our ways. We should do it as quickly as possible and stop the carnage and financial bleeding that will bring us to our knees and force us to stop that which we should have never started. We all know, in time, the war will be de-funded one way or another and the troops will come home. So why not now?” (4/17/07)

“Who are the true patriots: those who conform or those who protest against wars without purpose? How can it be said that blind support for war, no matter how misdirected the policy, is the duty of the patriot?” (5/22/07)

“Though opposition to totally unnecessary war should be the only moral position, the rhetoric is twisted to claim that patriots who oppose the war are not “supporting the troops”… Unsound policy can never help the troops. Keeping the troops out of harm’s way and out of wars unrelated to our national security is the only real way of protecting the troops.”(5/22/07)

“More inflation is, however, never the answer to inflation.” 08/20/07

“The greatest threat facing America today is the disastrous fiscal policies of our own government, marked by shameless deficit spending and Federal Reserve currency devaluation.” 4/09/07

“Unless and until we get the Federal Reserve out of the business of creating money at will and setting interest rates, we will remain vulnerable to market bubbles and painful corrections.” 3/19/07

“How can a policy of steadily debasing our currency be defended morally, knowing what harm it causes to those who still believe in saving money and assuming responsibility for themselves in their retirement years?” 2/19/07

“The mentality in Washington is simple: avoid hard choices at all costs; spend money at will; ignore deficits; inflate the money supply as needed; and trust that the whole mess somehow will be taken care of by unprecedented economic growth in the future.” 2/12/07

“…it is with the complicity of Congress that we have become a nation of pre-emptive war, secret military tribunals, torture, rejection of habeas corpus, warrantless searches, undue government secrecy, extraordinary renditions, and uncontrolled spying on the American people.” 4/30/07

“Concerns with signing statements ought to include a concern for the health of our constitutional republic, it ought not to be based upon the political battle of the day.” 7/09/07

“Only by recapturing the spirit of independence can we ensure our government never resembles the one from which the American States declared their separation.” 7/02/07

“To calm fears, Americans accepted the patriot act and the doctrine of pre-emptive war. We tolerated new laws that allow the government to snoop on us, listen to our phone calls, track our financial dealings, make us strip down at airports and even limited the rights of habeas corpus and trial by jury. Like some dysfunctional episode of the twilight zone, we allowed the summit of our imagination to be linked up with the pit of our fears.” 7/30/07

“Freedom is defined by the ability of citizens to live without government interference. Government cannot create a world without risks, nor would we really wish to live in such a fictional place.” 4/23/07

“Most Americans do not anticipate a military victory in Iraq, yet the Washington politicians remain frozen in their unwillingness to change our policy there, fearful of the dire predictions that conditions can only get worse when we leave.” 6/04/07

“They refuse to admit that the condition of foreign occupation is the key ingredient that unleashed the civil war now raging in Iraq and serves as a recruitment device for Al Qaida.” 6/04/07

“No single individual should be entrusted with the awesome responsibility of deciding when to send our troops abroad, how to employ them once abroad, and when to bring them home.” 12/18/06

“If every American taxpayer had to submit an extra five or ten thousand dollars to the IRS this April to pay for the war, I’m quite certain it would end very quickly. The problem is that government finances war by borrowing and printing money, rather than presenting a bill directly in the form of higher taxes.” 1/29/07

“Congress and the Federal Reserve Bank have a cozy, unspoken arrangement that makes war easier to finance… The result of this arrangement is inflation. And inflation finances war.” 1/29/07

“The American concept of independent nationhood inscribed in our Declaration cannot be maintained if we are going to pursue a policy that undermines the independence of other nations.” 7/02/07

“It’s hypocritical and childish to dismiss certain founding principles simply because a convenient rationale is needed to justify interventionist policies today.” 12/18/06

“Non-interventionism is not isolationism. Nonintervention simply means America does not interfere militarily, financially, or covertly in the internal affairs of other nations. It does not mean that we isolate ourselves; on the contrary, our founders advocated open trade, travel, communication, and diplomacy with other nations.” 12/18/06

“All Americans will benefit, both in terms of their safety and their pocketbooks, if we pursue a coherent, neutral foreign policy of non-interventionism, free trade, and self-determination in the Middle East.” 2/26/07

“Instead of rationally explaining the proper role of government, politicians have attempted to play the role of friend, preacher, parent, social worker, et cetera– in essence, whatever any organized special interest can demand.” 8/13/07

“We need not be ignorant to real threats to our safety, against which we must remain vigilant. We need only to banish to the ash heap of history the notion that we ought to be ruled by our fears and those who use them to enhance their own power.” 7/30/07

“The international elite, including many in the political and economic leadership of this country, believe our constitutional republic is antiquated and the loyalty Americans have for our form of government is like a superstition, needing to be done away with.” 7/16/07

“My message to my colleagues is simple: If you claim to support smaller government, don’t introduce budgets that increase spending over the previous year.” 4/02/07

“Only in Washington would anyone call the creation of an additional layer of bureaucracy on top of already bloated bureaucracies “streamlining.” Only in Washington would anyone believe that a bigger, more centralized federal government means more efficiency.” 5/14/07

“We don’t have to be in this mess. Logic tells us that we can make a better world in a much easier way than causing wars.” – Ron Paul, 05/25/07, Real Time with Bill Maher

“There is a strong tradition of being anti-war in the Republican Party” – Ron Paul, SC Republican Debate, May 2007

“When they attack me and say ‘Silence, Ron Paul,’ they are really saying, ‘Silence, the Constitution! Silence, founders of the country! Silence our platform-close it in under a big tent, make it very narrow, and as long as you agree with a foreign policy that is failing, then it’s okay to be a Republican. I don’t buy that, and neither do the American people.” – Ron Paul

“Blacks make up 14% of those who use drugs, yet 36% of those arrested are blacks, and it ends up that 63% of those who finally end up in prison are blacks. This has to change. We don’t have to have more courts and more prisons. We need to repeal the whole war on drugs. It isn’t working. We have already spent over $400 billion since the early 70’s, and it’s a waste of money. Prohibition didn’t work; prohibition on drugs doesn’t work, so we need to come to our senses. Absolutely, it’s a disease. We don’t treat alcoholics like this. It’s a disease, and we should orient ourselves to this. That is one way you can have equal justice under the law.”

“We should be talking to Iran right now. We should not be looking for the opportunity to attack them.”

“Government is not moral and cannot make us moral.”

“Freedom is popular.”

“I have my shortcomings, but the message has no shortcomings. The message of liberty is what America’s all about, and the more people hear about this, and the more they understand the financial trouble we’re in, the trouble that the dollar is in, and the failure of our foreign policy, all of a sudden this has gotten so popular-way beyond what I had conceived, and so I would say, yes, there probably is a risk I could win.” – on the Tonight Show

Huckabee, Schmuckabee

null“The handcuffs are on government not people…the government’s position is hands off in either preferring one religion to another or prohibiting one.” – Mike Huckabee

It would be nice if Huckabee practiced what he preached. This statement directly opposes a marriage amendment. How does banning gay marriage in the U.S. enhance freedom or limit government? It doesn’t.  Let’s call the marriage amendment what it is: a meaningless political tool, designed to amass political support without discussing any consequential political issues.  Huckabee engages in doublespeak. I recommend basing your political decisions on political issues, not religious impositions.

Huckabee also lied when he said he was the only Republican who predicted a recession during the Michigan debate. He actually stole that argument from Ron Paul, who had been saying so for months. Paul actually predicted the sub-prime mortgage crisis in 2002. It is nice to see Huckabee listening to the only visionary statesman in Washington. Unfortunately, Huckabee won’t acknowledge his sources, deliberately ignores truth, perverts his religion, and selfishly encourages his followers to abandon everything God-given within themselves, so that they may engage in idolatry.

Mike Huckabee hath lied and contradicted himself on economic and social issues numerous times without explanation, and ye self-described Christians still believe his every word, as though there is mystical truth in His contradiction.  “Here is idolatry even without a mask: and he who can calmly hear, and digest such doctrine, hath forfeited his claim to rationality–an apostate from the order of manhood; and ought to be considered–as one, who hath, not only given up the proper dignity of a man, but sunk himself beneath the rank of animals, and contemptibly crawl through the world like a worm.” – Thomas Paine

At best, Huckabee’s supporters are Christians in the way that the Taliban’s supporters are Muslim, and if times were desperate, their “Biblical” ideals would become as frightening as the Taliban’s, if not more so.